It becomes harder to make friends as you get older, especially close friends, and even more so when you’re in a different country.
I think my personality also plays a role in this. I don’t easily call someone a good friend just because I know them. I’ve also noticed that even though I’ve been in the U.S. for a few years, friendships often don’t last. People may say “keep in touch” or call you their friend, or even express an interest in getting to know you, but these connections usually fade over time. I think one reason is that distances in the U.S. are generally much greater, making it inconvenient to visit each other. It’s not like in Taiwan, where I could take a train, metro, or other transportation—or even just ride my motorcycle or walk—to see my friends.
Additionally, cultural and language barriers make it harder to form deep connections. That’s an undeniable reality. So, if you want to meet more people and potentially make friends, you might try school, work, or joining various groups. Sometimes, I attend activities organized by Taiwanese communities to meet people. However, most of the time, these gatherings are more about soothing homesickness than making lasting friendships.
Take the activity that I attended for celebrating new year and lantern festival as an example. The activity was held in a Brazilian restaurant. I would prefer a Taiwanese style restaurant, but it is not easy to find here. It is fine to have different style restaurant with a new experience though. Then, they have performance like dragon and lion dance. It is interesting, but not as fancy as I saw in Taiwan. Maybe it is because they performed inside the restaurant. They also had a raffle, it is fun to have the similar activity in the US. Although it is not like the raffle I went in front of the temple during new year or lantern festival. However, they do not have guessing lantern riddles, which I think is one of the distinguishing traditions of the lantern festival. I suppose it is because the attendees are not all Taiwanese. There are many other people from other countries. They may be spouses, friends, or guests. Traditional lantern riddles may be too challenging for all people to understand and participate in. Plus, many younger generations may not even know Taiwanese Mandarin. One time, I was trying to speak Taiwanese Mandarin with a young girl, and she told me that she doesn’t know Taiwanese Mandarin. To sum up, if you truly want to experience traditional Taiwanese festival activities, the best way is still to go to Taiwan and see them for yourself.
So, do I make friends at these Taiwanese-organized events? Honestly, not really. I know some people by the introduction that I already know. I get the chance to reconnect with acquaintances. However, it is definitely not leading to friendships. After all, people still get together with people you already known more. The best approach, I think, is to enjoy the events without expecting too much.
